The Price of Life

"Grief is the price we pay for love."

- Queen Elizabeth II

     Life isn't always great, it's something everyone learns in time. Bad things happen, we hurt, we suffer trauma, it's the price of life. You can move on, walk forward, but the ghosts of our past always come back to haunt us, and pain like that never truly goes away, and that's okay. That doesn't mean life isn't worth it. It doesn't mean that good doesn't come from it. In fact, from our darkest moments come our greatest selves.

     No one ever tells us growing up about the gray garb of reality, the shadows between the dark and the light. We're brought up with stories of total good and total evil, without ever being told that sometimes what seems the paragon of good can be evil, and the horrifying can be what's best. Life is nothing so simple, and not so easily categorized. I can't lie, I've spent most of my life living in shades of gray, knowing from a young age just how dark the world can be. You can take that darkness, and make light, as in tragic comedy, my favorite form of theater. It's the act of bringing comedy from pain, of making people laugh as much as cry. And just the same you can take that light and make darkness. Try to keep positivity, but don't allow yourself to become ignorant of reality. Life is worth living, even if it's not all bright, even if it's mostly dark, because everything changes. Life is change. There will always be bad things, and that's okay, because there will also always be good things. It's all about taking the good with the bad, and keeping moving.

     Everything has a price. From the greatest of decisions to the worst, there is always a price to pay. And it's usually not a fair one. The truth is, nothing in life is free. Whether we trade health for a job, one friend for another, one life for another, we can gain nothing without giving up something else. As you go through life, you'll make decisions, and sometimes, those decisions will come with prices you've only yet to realize. They'll come with images you see every time you close your eyes, with ghosts that visit you in the night. Throughout my life, I have made choices that I had to make. These choices have cost me more than anyone will ever know, and yet I wouldn't be who I am had I not paid these tolls. They haunt me, they break me, and they are me. The prices we pay in life become a part of who we are, as they shape who we become. Every night I go to bed with ghosts, I dream in a graveyard of the deals I've made. They're tattooed on the skin of my soul, ensuring I'll never forget. But that is the price for who I am. Even knowing the price now, I would still walk the same path, because it's the only one that leads me here. There is no path forward without loss, without pain, without sacrifice.

     You're never going to have all the answers, and that's okay. You're might not be happy with how things turn out, and that's okay, too. Life is incredibly variable, unpredictable, and you can't control everything. You're going to do things you regret, and you're going to do things that kill you that you don't regret. You're not perfect, and it's okay, no one is. You're going to hurt, there is no way forward unscathed. Try to remember though, that some of the greatest gifts come with a price tag that you cannot fathom. I've always believed that the greatest of us are those who've borne the greatest burdens. They see the pain in others and do everything to take it away. They use what breaks them to fix others, and there is no greater good than that. 

     Take the good with the bad, acknowledge the totality of reality. Doing any less is a disservice to yourself. Remember that life comes with a price, and that there's no way of going forward without paying it, so make sure you make good use of it. Remember that not everything will be great all the time, but that doesn't diminish the vale of your life. The prices I've paid to get through those darker times were worth it. If I hadn't gone through the bad, I never would have met the great people I have, I never would have had the impact I've had, or enjoyed all the good that's come. If no one else has told you today, going forward is worth it. Life is worth it, even if sometimes it doesn't feel like it. You are worth it, and don't ever forget it.